Surprise Visit by the Black Dog

11th August 2017
It's strange how the mind works, things are going well... great even... have a photo shoot on tomorrow for a friend and generally everything is falling into place in life pretty well.

So I was really quite startled to be hit by a train of negativity. Just finished watching a film and bang - there it is. There has been so much hurt over the last few years that it isn't really unreasonable, but I tend to keep a tight lid on everything and just not really talk about such things to anyone... ever. Usually it is a waking up feeling empty situation, or it builds up over a little time. But to just have it come out the blue was entirely new to me.

I am told that this isn't uncommon in creative people, and I guess that I fall into that category as a photographer and guitarist. So what can I do about it? Well - talking is right out, too much baggage for me to be any good at that. On the plus side I have started exercising again this week and the landscape should be starting to change to get my creativity back up and running again soon. Things should, hopefully, turn around soon then!

I think a large part of it is down to thinking on the future - where we are going, in all senses, which invariably makes me think about the past - the missed opportunities, the friendships that have withered and died and of course those who have departed this life. There was so much that was left undone and unsaid which plagues my mind at times.

But I have to remind myself that we ARE in a very good place, we have so many options and possibilities for the future which most people don't have the luxury of. I can do nothing about the past - my mistakes, my failures and my losses - but I can influence the future.

Sorry, I am absolutely terrible about talking about these things - there is so much depth to what goes on inside my head that I probably would never really get into it all. It isn't something I am comfortable talking about either - and I know there are always prying eyes looking at everything I say and do (which is a large part of why I *DON'T* talk about a lot of things... just got to remember that if their lives were as full, exciting and joyous as they would like others to think, why the hell are they so obsessed with my own irrelevant ramblings!). However there are people whom read this to keep up to date with how things are going, who care, and I kind of what them to know that - yes, of course I struggle from time to time - anyone who has lived through these things would - but generally things are great and I am genuinely excited for the future.

We are even toying with, someday, getting a boat for even better adventures!

And I do LOVE an adventure!

That said... it won't be *this* boat!!!!

The music has had to go on the back burner for a little while, the puppy is not overly impressed by loud guitars or synths! My masterplan project is still sitting patiently though... I just need to decide how to actually pull it off!

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